American Dreamer

iamonlydorb:

sucysucyfivedolla:

the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg

oh no I’m not falling for this one again

(via richarcl)

sfux:

i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together

(via richarcl)

jesuschristvevo:

i dont date in high school because no one is rich yet so whats the point

(via greatwhiteprivilege)

suojure:

malijuanastyles:

i was sitting in the bathroom today when like 5 girls walked in and i stopped pooping right away cause i didn’t want them to hear me but then i thought why is taking a shit so bastardized today like why cant i poop in peace in the privacy of my own stall without caring if people listen to the flop flop plop plop sploosh sploosh like damn just sing along to the ploop blop and enjoy symphony no. 9 a la my asshole

(via pleasedontleadmeon)